Once upon a time, there was a tiny kitchen witch named Dakota...
...whose babysitter extraordinaire, Bethany was quite possibly a sorceress of cookie dough!
Proof that at one time I could smile...
...but then came adulthood where I found that all work n no play = much RBF.
I was officially diagnosed with chronicBF by my spouse & he immortalized that moment in graphite.
My OG culinary inspo goddess..Great-Grandma Crescencia
I swore I could cook like my Tita lol...that's me trying to mix the masa for pasteles.
My Abuelita Tita
Mi madre, Margie
My Papa John
King Wilhelm...the bestest of bffs who de-Grinch-ed my heart so it grew 3 sizes (kind of like my cupcakes grew my butt lol).
Hobo und Hexe..we are the weirdos mister.
Still can make me smile (kinda lol)..guess I'll keep him
The hills are alive with the sounds of heavy metal. Hmmppff...I'd take this over the city any day! Fingers crossed we'll get back to the trees & mountains soon.
Here's a lil o' my digi-art, "Cursed Female."
One of my husband's pieces called "Valravn." If you want to see more, @hobocufflinks pretty much everywhere)
Melia the Duchess of Dog Cookies (a.k.a. MellyBelly the Sweet Tato...RIP)
The goodest boy Gizmo
Mademoiselle Bellatrix LaStrega (a.k.a Strega)
Our sassy girl Wednesday.
Our sweet boy Puck.
Puck & Wednesday...their faces say it all.
Now to make pies & sauce & butter...oh my!
Cake it til you make it.
The HoneyWitch Saga
Sugar, Spice & All Things Nice
My baking journey started like a lot of little kids, with tiny cakes baked to a crisp by a light bulb lol. I have no idea what happened to my Easy Bake Oven, but I can distinctly remember the day I made "real" chocolate chip cookies with my babysitter Bethany. That was waaaaay back in the 1st grade. She picked me up after school, we went to the store to get the fixings, headed home & baked. I felt so proud that I made a thing! In truth, I think I just poured in the sugar & chips...but I poured them like a friggin pro! After that, I tried to get all the Girl Scout cookie badges & spent years watching my great-grandmother & grandmas work their culinary magic. I wanted to be amazing in the kitchen just like them & have everyone who ate my food ask for seconds +/or the recipe.
Buuuuttt...you know, I felt like I should be a "responsible adult" & do what was expected of me. Soooo yeah, I got a scholarship, went to college, graduated with degrees in both Psychology & Media Arts, then found a 9-5 with medical. I ended up working administrative positions in av/media & tech for years. Thinking back, I'm positive that's where my resting bitch face advanced to its chronic phase lol.
Anywho, once I had my own kitchen, I started cooking & baking for my husband, family & friends more often. However, as I mentioned earlier, I'd learned how to cook watching my Puerto Rican grandmas which left me with a strange inability to cook for just 2 people?? I honestly try, but no matter what I do, we inevitably end up with a week's worth of leftovers lol. I didn't want to waste food/$, so I started sending the extras to my husband's coworkers. That led to taking small orders & doing little events here & there.
Fast forward a couple of years, & after getting kind of sick, I had to take some time off of work, which left me time to start experimenting with yummy stuff. I spent a crap ton of hours in the kitchen with most of the pantry on the counters Frankenstein-ing recipes & realized when I wasn't cooking, I would get anxious just thinking about going back to work. Obviously, years into my dead end office job, my itch was no longer being scratched sitting at a desk. All I wanted to do was work on my ABCs (art, baking & cooking).
I talked to my parents & husband who encouraged me to follow my heart. I probably grew myself a new ulcer or 3 mulling it over, but all I knew was that me + cooking = Zen, feeding people makes me happy, & coming up with new decorating ideas or flavor profiles makes me Snoopy dance. So, here I sit spending my days tweaking recipes, trying to be the badass-est of NYC homebakers & doing some occasional freelance art. My hope is to save enough to open a brick & mortar so I can bring you even more tasty noms. I’d also love to be able to showcase some of the talents of my family & friends. We have it all: artists, authors, chefs, musicians, etc.
Before I go, I guess I should explain the name? It's actually not a super cool explanation but yeah, my husband came up with the nickname "honig hexe," which = "honey witch" in German. I kind of super LOOOVE honey & I'm always trying to come up with new ways to incorporate it into different recipes. Anywho, speaking of my husband, he’s pretty friggin dope...a smiley blonde, amazing artist & tech dude with a massive caffeine addiction & a bit of a sarcasm issue. I'm all gloom & doom, partial to my decaf teas & perhaps a tad snarky lol, but they say opposites attract cuz science n magnets or whatever. We are still hoping to move back to the woods one of these millennia so we can art & bake surrounded by all the nature…but for now, we live in the city. In our free time, we enjoy metal, gaming, reading & doing artsy fartsy stuff. We also pass the hours watching anime, cool shows on the diff streamies (e.g., Loki, See, The Expanse, Handmaid's Tale, From, The Witcher, Mandalorian, The Last Kingdom) & pretty much every movie (even really bad stuff lol).
Covid, covid, covid why have you forsaken me? A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away (it's been 84 years & I can still remember a time before the rona), we actually went to concerts pretty friggin often. For the past year though, we’ve streamed a couple of live shows (e.g., MiW & INK) & made do listening to our metal indoors, just reeeaaalllly LOUD. Truth be told, my husband & I were pretty much fine with the whole quarantine life/lockdown thing & realized just how anti-social we are lololol. But yeah, 2020 is the past & thus far 2021 has been all over the place. I busted my ankle all to hell & was limping around for a couple of months. Unfortunately, we lost our tiniest puppy wolf Melia very suddenly to illness, so we've been pretty bummed but at least we can still play with her crazy brother Gizmo & our pretty kitty Strega. I did cheer up a couple of times though. I was super happy when I was able to make my nephew's 1/2 birthday smash cake & lmao at his reaction to tasting buttercream frosting for the first time. Second time I might've smiled lol was when I was able to see some fam at a murder mystery themed bday party for my cousin & husband.
At long last, there is hope on the horizon...Broadway & concerts are coming back this fall! We got that double vax, so we're excited to do stuff again like see family, hit a few museums & concerts, go apple & pumpkin picking, oooo I heard the NY Renaissance Faire is back...huzzah! And, we got our new fur-kid woohoo! She's a silky chi named Wednesday & she's awesome af!
It's 2023...we've been apple picking, we've been to concerts, we've been out of state, annnndddd we grew our fur family! Wednesday has a brudda now. Our new adoptee is a goofy lil shorkie named Puck. They are total opposites, not just gender or fur color, but temperament &'tude lol. Love them both to pieces! So now, I'll just take my moment to be a tad preachy & remind y'all spay/neuter your fur kids & adopt, don't shop...plz & thx!
Geeeezzz...wth did I just type? Inorite? tl;dr lol Annnywaaay, all that to say I was born, I grew up, pretty much only want to doodle or cook/bake & would 100% love to make something scrumpdidilyumpcious for you to help celebrate a special event or just because you made it through the day & need a friggin cookie in your life.
¯\_ (ツ) _/¯
When in doubt...cupcake it out!